I think I’ve become more nostalgic as I’ve gotten older. Like I’m yearning for the good ole days even though I realize that those days kinda sucked. I’m not naive enough to forget the troubles or longings of youth, but there’s elements of my childhood that I just can’t seem to get back, and it’s making me a bit sad.

One thing I’ve been thinking about, now that my kiddo is going off to kindergarten, is my elementary school. Especially as I’ve was a bit older and I had free reign on my bike to go to the school during the summer and putz around. That’s something I’m not sure my kiddo will ever experience. I know we as parents have become a lot more risk adverse and frankly I can’t imagine sending my child out in the big world without at least a cell phone (but also, I do not want to give them a cellphone either). I know we’re living in incredibly safe times, but I had so much free time/space growing up that looking back I think my parents were crazy.

And maybe I’m remembering incorrectly, that I could putz around on my bike (hell, I didn’t even have a watch!) and just bike wherever I wanted. I explored a lot and found prairie dog towns, suburban jungles, and hidden dirt bike tracks.

I remember going to my elementary school on my off days, maybe as a middle schooler, and just playing on the equipment. It must have been on the weekends because no one was around and one thing that sticks into my mind are the tennis courts.

Now I didn’t grow up in a fancy, bougie place. In fact whenever I return to my home city, it feels much smaller and more economically depressed than I remember. But my elementary school had two tennis courts, kinda out of the way. And I recall my mother and I playing there pretty often. They were not fancy, in any way. The net had holes, weeds grew through the cracks, and I don’t think the gate even closed. Sometimes people even would pay with their dogs in it, because it was fenced in. I don’t think there was even a backboard.

But have you seen the courts now? They’re like high tech I swear. Now they’re painted in either blue or red and it seems like the run of the mill city courts now require a club pass to get in. And I’ve checked into it, all the city courts around me have clubs associated with them. You need to have access to a tennis court booking software, or at least pay to play. Which kinda makes me mad, because so much of my love for the game was due to access. Was it fancy access? No. But I was able to hop on the courts when I wanted, and my mom and I could play four hours. But now it seems like only the wealthy can access the city’s courts and even then, they don’t resemble the courts of my youth at all.

We’re not all training for the US open! Why do we have to pretend like we are? I want my kiddo to experience the access of different types of sports, regardless if he’s good at them or not.

Sigh. It seems like raising kids was a bit simpler when I was growing up. Or at least the income disparity seemingly felt less. That makes me a bit sad, because while my kiddo is growing up really privileged, not everyone has the same access.